One Born Every Minute...

Wondering if anyone is watching this "fly on the wall" series on SBS Tuesday nights, set in a UK hospital labour ward? I've been glued to it in fascination... but I have to admit that I'm not always loving what I see. The stories that were told in the first two episodes were... how shall I say... enough to mute your biological clock or perhaps even provide reason for contraception! I watched through the cracks between my fingers as these women writhed in agony, fighting hard against the process, instead of tuning into their bodies & going with it. Their anxiety fed their pain, their pain fed their anxiety... until this vicious cycle spiralled out of control, often snowballing toward medical intervention. If this is what birth is "really like", I imagine all the first-time pregnant women watching would be fostering some serious pangs of anxiety right about now...

Perhaps the most cringe-worthy part of it was the total lack of support that some of these women received from their birth partners. One particular husband was actually laughing at his wife as she struggled in pain, mocking her for choosing a natural birth. Their teenage son was also in the room & the two of them were having a lovely time exchanging wicked glances & private jokes in an attempt to alleviate their obvious boredom... hardly conducive to a sacred experience, the poor woman!!! It's no wonder she couldn't cope and required some help in the end.

Things were looking up when they finally told a positive normal (intervention free) birth story this week, where a woman had a quick & easy waterbirth. The difference between her & all the other women was profound & abundantly clear- she was very calm throughout, & rather than focusing on pain or anything negative that she was going through, she turned her focus within- appearing to go into a 'zone' during her labour. The fact that she then had a positive experience is no coincidence. The midwife even commented that in all her experience, the women she sees who cope well in labour are always very "stoic" - which my trusty Pocket Macquarie dictionary defines as "someone who is mentally strong, patient & uncomplaining"... such helpful qualities to have whilst in labour!

So after listening to my post-show rantings this week about "why don't they show more of these positive stories?!" & "how come the other ones got so much more airtime?!?!" my hubby David made a very simple & valid observation. "The dramatic stories make for much more interesting viewing". Hmmm... well ok... I guess I have to concur... uncomplaining, patient women in a zone aren't so watchable or entertaining. I should know this, being an actor. Conflict makes drama. Drama makes ratings. But our positive, 'stoic' birth stories really need to get out there too & become part of a collective consciousness. Birth should not be scary. The media in general certainly has a lot to answer for in their predictable portrayal of childbirth as being overly painful & traumatic.

Anyways I shall just have to hope that more inspiring stories will be told in this series... & that the other stories aren't fuelling the fear too much!